No. Don't throw your carrots. Or if you do, pick them up. Can you just at least pick them up like a civilized human being before you exit the cafeteria? Hey, you guys, I don't care how the napkin ended up on the floor, someone take responsibility and throw it away. Okay, everybody! If you are talking to people sitting at your table- you do NOT need to yell. In fact, yelling increases the probability that the duty teachers will hear the inappropriate things you are saying. If you must be awful, could you please do it sotto voce?
My new favorite lunch duty game is to look at the noxious cretins and think to myself "what will be the shining moment of humanity in this child's lifetime? What is the one greatest thing s/he will do that would move someone to tears?" Because we all have our shiny moments. They just seldom occur in a school cafeteria. And not between the ages of 8-13.
Also, I do a lot of making up new lyrics to Christina Aguilera's song "Beautiful." In my version, the title is "Dutiful." And it is all about how these punks can't bring me down.
Second: I can't remember this one.
Third: I have a ridiculous case of pet pride regarding Pepe. He is not actually very helpful when planting seeds ("No, my hands are not toys, and though I am digging in the dirt, you are not allowed to..."), but he was helpful holding down the measuring tape for Dave yesterday. And therefore I will post this video:
Pepe doesn't make chore time more efficient, but he makes it more fun.
Fourth: I do remember my third thought, but will pass it off as my fourth thought to make me look more thoughtful than I actually am. It was about the fate of Maine-based business chains, relative to their presence in the teeming metropolis of Ellsworth.
Mr. Paperback recently went out of business (statewide, not just in Ellsworth), rendering a lot of fine people jobless. A victim of Amazon and Audible, it just couldn't compete with the changing tides of literary culture. Bookworms across the state mourn the loss, but we all know that we were 100% responsible for its demise.
On the other side of the coin, Friendly's in Ellsworth went out of business, and has been converted to a Governor's. Was a bit wonderful to see a national chain go under and be replaced by a local one. There was much rejoicing by the region- I ate there last night. It was packed, but service was quick and thoughtful- and it was Governor's. You know it. You love it. I did mourn the loss of the Muskie Burger- and all of the Namesake burgers in general. All they had was a LePage burger, and as we all know 61% of Mainer's can' stomach that particular dish.
I used to play a game about Ellsworth when I was in college- it was called "While You Were in Iowa." I would watch buildings and business come and go, as if by magic.
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