The morning fog burned off by eight today, leaving the sky cloudless, clear- as clear as my mission. I had established my presence Thursday evening when, clippers in hand, I skirmished with the forsythia stalks that had invaded neutral airspace. It was a cut and run affair, not a pitched battle. I was between meetings, and only had time for a quick strike.
Today would be different. Today would be shock and awe.
Okay, not level 10 shock and awe. I am not yet chainsaw proficient: but I am getting to be bad-ass with a hand saw and clippers. So let's call it surprise and astonishment. Frankly, it is a more responsible approach to landscape peacekeeping. No gas-guzzling, no noise. Welcome to the 21st century, bitches.
It took a couple of hours of non-stop assault until I got to the border in dispute. On the slog in, I reinforced the boundary between the forsythia bush and the barn, don't need a future confrontation on that front. The delay wouldn't derail the campaign.
When I got to the primary front, even on first assessment things were pretty bad; the rhododendron had stood its ground, keeping formation tight, but the forsythia had established renegade settlements well beyond its territory, dropping in shooters from above.
That shit will not stand.
I don't care if its the bloody diamond jubilee for Elizabeth, and that forsythia was "discovered" during the reign of Queen Victoria. I won't be blinded by nostalgia for imperialism. Stay the fuck where you were planted, forsythia.
Now the rhododendron isn't an innocent here- it too has been building up arms and expanding its territory, in recent history it quietly annexed 1/3 of the bluestone walk, cutting off formal communication channels between the drive and the porch. There's still debate about what the proper course of action will be; appeasement and a rerouting of the walkway, or a more militant approach involving recovery.
Today's work was ultimately successful, though the carnage was... well, it's a free press. You can see the images for yourself. We got rid of the rotten branches, the extremists bent on expansion. We cleaned up and made light what was dark and choking. Am I sorry for the casualties? Yes. But will I also go to bed tonight knowing I made the front yard a more fair, free, and civilized space? Hell yes.
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