Closing out the year.

Feeble harvest.

The upside of not having written in a while is that I have been preoccupied with books, audio and text.  I think that to be at all happy in life, I need one or the other at all times- ideally both, but when I'm demanded to constantly think at my job the balance skews wildly to indulging in words I didn't have to string together.  I get pretty sick of thinking under deadline and teaching other people how to think.

Today is a day OFF!

At 6:30 Dave made the coffee, fed the cat, and then both came back to bed, and I fell back asleep sandwiched between husband and cat to the strains of From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of Time.

Perfect.  Happy household sleep-in sandwich, and someone's voice in my ear teaching me new ways to think about time.   Woke up again at 8:30 to let out the chickens, who were still up in their roosts, unimpressed by the damp weather.

A little light Lemony Snicket on my iPad with coffee and warmed up pizza, and now to figure out the day, without having to think about or run a rehearsal.

In news updates, in the last month our kitchen made two passive aggressive demands for updates, leading to the installation of new faucet fixtures and track lights.  I did some minimal, yet noticiable painting on the exterior of the house.

One chicken laid two eggs- pictured above, but has since gone on strike.  I think she's not particularly happy with the change in season.  I also worked my way through our weed-infested garden, and harvested our shallots, also pictured above.

Our garden is a sad, wild place now- a testament to my summer's depression, when I couldn't focus on my work, but also felt too guilty to do anything not work related.  My garden is too public- on view to the main street and right across from the school.  And there's that one teacher, who sits on my board... the type of person who has fallen into the habit of back-handed compliments and damning with faint praise.  If my paranoia could be anthropomorphized, it would take her shape- "it must be nice, having the time to keep up a big garden..."

I just did not want to be seen, by anyone, for any reason.  If I went out, it was into the back yard, where I had my whole big lovely Maine Etc. house to shield me. (Big house, little house, back house, barn!)

So the garden sat neglected.

Big beautiful borage volunteers, giant ferny dill, tomatoes, slinking, spreading for want of support, one tidy row of rainbow chard.  A whole corner where grass invaded and grew to full height.  We did have a successful potato harvest- a highlight of the season, with both of my parents in attendance.

If the first summer of the garden was a step forward, this last summer was two steps back.  But even in our new wasteland embraced by the deer fence, there is still beauty.  I am very fond of that borage- and a good thing, since I will likely have to fight it now for years.

I am pleased to be back on my feet, with a whole quarter of the new school year behind me.  I am tired yes, a bit exhausted, yes.  But depressed?  No longer.

I bought spring bulbs, I've turned the now impressive compost piles, and I have no fear of being seen, planning and planting.

I just have to make the time.